Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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