So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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