I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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