Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
