Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Never joke about your clitoris.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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