i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize