When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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