A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
