every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
