i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
