ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
