well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everclear isn't food dammit
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
