**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
