If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
