all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize