the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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