Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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