At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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