dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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