I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
