Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
