Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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