Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
