oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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