You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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