I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize