She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize