I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
