if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
