I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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