all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
