Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
