I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
