just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im six kinds of drunk right now
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
