Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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