I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
