kristin has been a bad kristin
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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