so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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