Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well I just put wine in my tea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
