Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
