she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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