Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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