...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
