this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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