xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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