If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
