May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
