I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
