member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
