So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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