cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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