Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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