White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I intend to get homeless drunk
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
