dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
