i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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