The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
