Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
