We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
