but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
