i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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