Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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