Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
